1.) 15 New Books in 2012 This one is pretty self explanatory. I want to get my reading up to a productive, consistent level. This year I read about 10 new books which was a huge improvement from past years. I will be tracking my reading on Goodreads if you want to follow along.
2.) Reduce Screen Time A lot of the tasks that I have set out in my resolutions are aimed at this particular item. I can not cut the computer or television out of my life completely, but I especially need to reduce unproductive screen time. Many times I'm sitting in front of the computer and I think about editing photos or blogging and then I go off on a random clicking spree and end up wasting an hour (or two... or five). Or a show is playing on TV but about halfway through I realize I have no idea what is going on because I've been randomly clicking around the internet while it was on. Or I don't feel like cooking because I would rather be sitting on my sofa being lazy with the computer. I need to find a healthy balance between TV, computer and all those other things I want to do. This will be hard because I am addicted to my screens (iPhone included) but I can do it. Life will be better for it.
3.) Weekly Fun List It is very easy for me to fall into a homebody routine. Go to work, come home, play on the computer, go to bed. Lather, Rinse, Repeat. Each week I want to set out things that will break the montony whether it is attending a lecture at the museum, catching a movie, checking out a new shop or restaurant or driving to a new part of town to do my walk. This is not going to be a big list each week (maybe one or two items), but if I don't plan ahead on things to do then I will find myself sitting at home doing nothing which is pretty much what I did for 2011.
4.) Blog Four Times a Week I've been blogging a long time. When I started there was a large and vibrant community that used their blogs to share their thoughts and opinions with the world. It was a way for people to keep up with each other. You only knew that someone was dating or got a new car or went to the zoo if you read their blog but now you can find all of that out and more with Facebook and Twitter and tons of other social media sites. Blogging has fallen out of fashion. But I like blogging and I like my blog. It has a history and a story to tell. It is fun to look back through the archives to see the silly stuff I was saying, thinking or feeling. Many times over the recent years I've thought about blogging something, but then got caught up in my random internet clicking (see previous item) or just got lazy. Blogging takes focus and effort and I will do both in 2012. Prepare yourself. A lot of the things I am going to blog are my progress on all these resolutions so you may see posts on what I'm eating, what I'm wearing and where I'm going. Not terribly exciting, but it will get me back at the keyboard, help me stay on track with my resoutions and it will document my year. Bring it on.
1.) One Piece of Clothing Each Month I'm not a fan of clothes shopping. I harbor a suspicion that I would enjoy it more if I had money to do it. I'm sure that I could be a bargain shopper to save a few dollars but nothing sounds more tedious than hitting up store after store after store. But this attitude has led to a problem: a wardrobe that is low quality and is falling apart. I know that I need to buy good pieces and over time slowly improve my wardrobe. I've known this for a while but I've never made a dedicated effort until now. I was tempted to make this two pieces a month, but that sounded difficult to the part of me that is working on money saving efforts. If I can do more than one piece I will. My shoes could do with some replacing too but let me see how this goes first.
2.) One Girlie Magazine Every Other Month I know you are laughing, but I have a reason. I'm a terrible girl. I'm bad at make-up and fashion and design (and cooking and housekeeping and dating....). I dress like a schlub (see previous post) and usually look barely passable (see next post). I will admit that I'm not terribly interested in that stuff, but I'm tired of feeling so stodgy. So I'm going to look through these magazines every once ina while. Maybe it will give me an idea on accessories to buy or a new piece of clothing to buy or some new way to do my eyeshadow.
3.) Look Best Each Time I Go Out I'm sure you are sensing a theme now. I don't spend a lot of time on my make-up or deciding what I'm going to wear each day. It isn't that I don't want to look good but I get lazy in the morning and then I have to rush around and do things in a hurry. On the days that I take my time I feel better about myself and have more confidence. Not that anyone could probably see a big change from fast rushing day to take my time day but I know it and I can tell a difference. So I want to take my time each day. Don't rush, wear nice clothes and be more of a girlie girl. It will be a long work in progress.
4.) Walk/Ride Five Times a Week This is the biggie. This isn't about losing weight or necessarily even exercising in the way that people use that word. It is about getting active, getting off the couch and going for a walk or a ride. I'm not going to be setting any speed or endurance records. I just want to be more active than I am now. I've resisted walking for a long time because I always found it so mind numbingly boring. I've been thinking lately though that it might not be so bad in my new neighborhood. The hard part of this is finding the time to do it and then making sure I do it each day. I know the benefits for how I will feel in the long run will be huge. This is the hardest of my resolutions and I think the most important.
1.) Track Spending This is the year where I am going to make a money breakthrough. My car will be paid off by May if not sooner and then I can finally make a big dent in my credit card debt. That will probably take about a year and a half, but I am so close to being free that I can taste it. In the meantime I want to get my other areas of spending under control. I had started using the Spend app again after a long hiatus and it helped me dig myself out of a hole I was in. I unfortunately stopped after the Thanksgiving trip but I am ready to start again with a vengence.
2.) Get Involved with a Charity This one is pretty self explanatory. I would like to use some of my time to do charity work. Either raising money, items or volunteering my time. There are lots of options in Houston and online. In Houston I'm leaning towards the Houston Food Bank. Online there are too many to name, but most of them are financial in nature and I'll be tracking my money closely so I'm not sure how viable that will be. This one will take a little time to evolve, because I want to find the perfect organization that I can devote myself to for the long haul.
3.) Put Things Away This may not sound like a personal improvement goal but it is. I am terrible about putting things away I procrastiate and say that I'll get to something later. I do it for one item, then another and before I know it the space is junky and feels cluttered. If I would just take an extra 2 or 3 minutes right away to put stuff away or set a time each night to put everything away, life would be so much easier. It would also make cleaning easier because I wouldn't have to be picking up AND cleaning and I could keep on top of it. If I can get this one as a habit it will make a big improvement in my day to day life.
4.) Make the Thought Count On my resolution checklist I had this listed as Cards, Thank Yous and Gifts. I think of these things all the time. "I should write her a card, I should send him a thank you, I should buy them this little thing to let them know that I'm thinking about them." And invariably I put it off saying I'll get to it later and the perfect moment passes. This happens all the time. The other day I saw an interview with the author of a new book on this very subject. John Kralik wrote about how his life improved by writing thank you cards. He wrote them to everyone for any little thing. Sounds like a good plan to me. I found the following quote: "silent gratitude is of no use to anyone."
My resolutions in this category are a continuation of what I have been slowly working towards the last few years. Many of them will probably sound familiar if you are a regular reader of my blog.
1.) Make a Weekly Meal Plan I've been doing this on and off with some success over the years. The hardest thing about making the plan is finding the time to sit down and actually do it. I tend think about it right before I want to go to the grocery store and that is the wrong time. That leads me to putting "bad for me but easy" dishes on the list or skipping it altogether which inevitabily leads to take out. When I make the list I tend to stick to it a little better because I spent money on the items that are in my house waiting to be used. It helps me to eat better and save money. The Paprika App has been very helpful in this area and I want to make this a regular part of my routine.
2.) Vegetable Dish Once a Week As readers know I am a big fan of Michael Pollan. His book, In Defense of Food, is what started me thinking differently about how and what I was eating. Pollan has a saying on that book that has become kind of his mantra: Eat Food. Not Too Much. Mostly Plants. It's the "mostly plants" part that I have a hard time with. I'm not a big fan of vegetables. I like corn. And mushrooms. Umm.... sweet potatoes. Er..... well you get the idea (not much green there). I know that people who eat a lot of vegetables are healthier people and I want to be one of those people that eats vegetables. So I'm challenging myself to make a vegetable dish at least once a week. And this means really preparing something, not copping out by fixing corn on the cob each week (mmm... though I do love corn on the cob). My hope is that by the end of the year I know how to make a variety of vegetable dishes and that my taste for them grows. I have armed myself with Tender from my favorite cookbook author Nigel Slater.
3.) Bake Twice a Month When I transferred all my recipes into Paprika earlier this year I was surprised to find that my largest category by a very big margin was desserts. I collect dessert recipes more than I collect anything else yet I never make them. Ever. I love sweets and I have always admired those people that can bake and make these marvelous creations. I want to be one of those people. And it isn't like the recipes I'm saving are hard. I'm too lazy and inept in the kitchen to save hard or difficult recipes. I just don't do it. I sit on my sofa and surf the internet and then when my sweets craving hits I eat junk. Well no more. I am going to learn to love my kitchen and I'm going to learn to make awesome things in there. I am not going to cut sweets out of my diet but I want the majority of the sweet things I consume to be something that I have made myself (or special occasions at a restaurant). No more mass market cookies or candy bars.
4.) Drink More Water and Tea The "drink more water" resolution has been in place for years. I've made some progress in it, but not nearly as much as I should. I still go weeks without drinking a good amount of water. I know water helps with weightloss and organ function and just general well being. I shouldn't go a whole day and realize I've had no water at all but I frequently do. Although this resolution has been around for years I really feel like I will master it this year. As for the tea I am talking about hot tea. Drinking hot tea seems so civilized and elegant doesn't it? Frequently when I take the time to drink tea I am more relaxed and it forces me to slow down. It puts me in a different mind space, one that I need to visit more often. So hot tea here I come.
To make these resolutions successful I am going to have to break away from my current comfort zone of chair, TV and my computer addiction and make the kitchen feel just as comfortable. A tall order.
In a way my photography has gone into the same hiberation that my personal life has. I feel I have been going through the motions for some time now (more than a year). Part of it is the fact that I myself have not been going out and part of it is feeling like I am treading over the same territory over and over again.
My photography resolutions aren't really going to shake up my whole routine, but I hope they will give me a little bit of a spark.
1.) 52 Week Mirror Project I know that I have tried to start this up several times, but I really mean it this time. There is no reason for me not to take a reflected self portrait once a week other than sheer laziness. When I think back on my last failed attempts I can remember how I felt withdrawn and didn't feel like extending myself. That is a common thing I will be fighting with a lot of my resolutions. I can take more than one a week, but I must take one a week even if it is me just going into my bathroom to take the shot. I have even set up a Tumblr to collect the images together.
2.) Instagram Color Wheel I have fought against the popularity of the photo app Instagram for a long time. Frankly I don't get it. But I had to admit to myself that I never really tried to be involved with the app and it is very popular for photo sharing. So I'm taking another failed project from last year and moving it over there. I am going to do my color wheel project on Instagram. I will take at least one photo a week of that month's color and it will be posted to Instagram. I am going through the colors on the wheel (red, orange, yellow, green, blue and purple) and then repeating to finish the year. Since it is with Instagram these will be iPhone only photos.
3.) Everyday App This one just came to me about a week ago but it feels right. I am going to use the Everyday app to take a self portrait everyday. I have for a long time struggled with my self image. I don't like looking at myself and seeing myself in photos. For a brief moment I tried to do a 52 weeks straight up self portrait project but it was cumbersome and difficult. I know that the mirror project photos are self portraits but they feel different. What I like about this project is that I don't have to do any major set up and there will be no photo editing. Basically I just take the picture and forget about it. After I have enough photos I will be able to make a time lapse of my face. I haven't decided whether I will share that publicly or not. Right now this one is just for me.
4.) Photowalk Twice a Month Photowalks are my main way to take photos but I have lost my way (told you it was a recurring theme). The only time I seem to get the camera out is when I am at a festival or I go to a specific location for Assignment Houston. I would go to the events or locations, get the photos and get out of there so I could get home. It is time for me to start wandering with my camera again. Twice a month I want to carve out time to take my camera and just walk. I want to go to places with no agenda and that are not tied to assignments or events. A true and leisrely photowalk.
So those are my photo projects for 2012. I will be doing more with my photography than just these things, but these are the non-negotiables. I will still be running Assignment Houston and taking photos for that, running my photoblog, going to festivals and events and working on projects. I have ideas for a cemetery project, a city trees project and an artist model project. I just wanted a few concrete things that get me to look around every day and capture what I see. I'm excited to get started.
In terms of my 2011 resolutions, this year was an utter failure. I alluded to it in the original post when I expressed my concern over lack of specifics. Sure enough without concrete steps the resolution of "living a beautiful life" flew right out the window. I had nothing to hold myself to. I shake my head at the hippy dippy language from a year ago.
This year has been a step backward in many ways. I feel like I have retreated into myself. The careful advances I have made in getting to know people, to combat social anxiety, to put myself out there have all withered away. I have turned back towards my reclusive ways. When an opportunity comes up to socialize or put myself out there either physically or emotionally I veered away from it. I always had an excuse, a reason, a justification. For most of the year I thought I was just being lazy but I really noticed it when I was at a performance at Miller Outdoor Theater in the fall and I felt anxious. I wanted to be back at my apartment on my sofa. I could actually feel it welling up inside me but there was no reason for me to feel that way. That is when the warning flag went up. Somehow my life had gotten off track.
So for 2012 I have gone the complete opposite direction (as crazy people are wont to do). I have a bunch of resoutions, almost all of them tangible and concrete. I have over the years been much more successful with my birthday checklist in part because they were small and concrete items that I could easily check off as done or not done. This years resolutions resemble a hybrid between my resolutions and my birthday checklist and I have a bunch of them. My resolutions this year are basically a map that I will follow step by step to get to the improvements I want by the end of the year.
I will be telling you about them over the next few days and I will be blogging much more about them as I go through the year. I've gone around and around trying to beat them into some kind of order. I think I mostly got it but there are items that I will probably add and/or drop before the year ends. I already feel better about the choices than I did last year and that is a good start.
P.S. Birthday checklist? I'm doing crappy on that one as well because for some reason I also decided to change format with that and have two huge items instead of tiny little things. Right now I don't think I'm going to do a birthday checklist and just concentrate on the resolutions.
Christmas was filled with fabulous food, beautiful decorations and lots of laughter. It was quite enjoyable and for that I am thankful since Christmas can be filled with so many mixed emotions for me.
My cousin Greg and his wife Liz host our family's Christmas dinner. It is an event to say the least. First off look at this beautiful decoration over the table. Liz said she saw something like it on HGTV and had almost everything they needed in the house to do it. I have no doubt it was easy for her, but I am deficient in the home decorating gene. I would never be able to do this.
I am used to having a large Christmas meal, but I am still in awe of anyone who can get out a turkey and a pork roast (having both is our family tradition) as well as rice dressing, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, broccoli rice casserole, macaroni and cheese, pistachio salad, rolls, and gravy all to the table at the same time (for 23 people!!) and have it taste fantastic. Other family members brought cornbread dressing and green bean casserole. Needless to say it took a while to get everything on my plate, but not nearly as long for me to eat it all! Of course there was also the ham, cheese bread and boudin dip and crackers as an appetizer and the dessert table. Are there any more beautiful words than dessert table?
We ended the time together with white elephant which was a lot of fun. I have struggled the last few years with letting go of the Christmases of my youth and learning to accept the way Christmas works in my middle age years. It helped to have such a beautiful display in a warm and inviting environment. Thanks Liz and Greg.
Three videos from the rainforest. The first video was taken on my last morning from my hotel room balcony. As I said in my last Panama post I will never tire of the sounds of the rainforest. The second video was taken the second evening of our visit when my aunt and I were sitting on the balcony watching the rain come in. The video is grainy because the camera was compensating for the fact that it was actually deep dusk. The third video was taken on the Panama Canal on the way back to the hotel after our Monkey Island trip.
My New Year's Resolutions are starting to shape up. It is going to be a departure from the last few years and especially from last year's hippity dippity resolution. One of the things I am going to do is a 52 weeks reflected self portrait and I *will* do it. I always say I'm going to do these things then I let them slide. No sliding anymore on any of them.
I hadn't planned on getting up each morning at sunrise (this was my vacation after all) but the day before was so fulfilling that I did it again. I loved walking around the grounds of the hotel as the morning broke, the birds sang, and the sun rose over the mountains. It was very calming and a surprise for me since I am most definitely not an early riser.
After breakfast we were scheduled to go on the ariel tram tour but my aunt wasn't feeling well so I went down to the hotel desk and did some rescheduling. This gave us a few extra hours before what would now be the Monkey Island tour. I sat on the balcony, looked and listened to the birds and enjoyed the view while I read my book. The extra tours are really great but I think I could go to that hotel and be happy just sitting on the balcony listening to the sounds of the rain forest.
We got underway on our first tour of the day to Monkey Island. Monkey Island is located at Gatun Lake in an area off of the Panama Canal. We went down to the marina and met up with our same tour guide from the orchids the day before. At the marina we boarded a speedboat that held about 12 people. This time we headed away from the Chagres river and towards the Panama Canal. Did I mention that I like boats? I love them. The speedboat went whooshing through the waters of the canal. We passed several of the big cargo ships on their way through the canal and it was so much fun to whiz by them.
The boat made several little side stops along the way to the main destination. We saw a crocodile sunning himself, that is until he decided to get into the water and swim toward us. Another stop along the way brought us face to face with our first monkey. The monkeys we encountered on this trip were White-Faced Capuchin Monkeys. At this island there was just one that came out when our boat passed. It climbed out onto the branch and watched us. An autistic boy on the boat happened to bring bananas (the captain and guides didn't bring any) and the boat captain cut one and tossed it in the air to the monkey. The monkey missed to the sounds of disappointment from everyone in the boat. But the boat captain tried again and sure enough the monkey grabbed the banana piece out of the air. And then he bared his teeth at us and ran back over the branch with his prize. One more animal we saw on the way to the official destination was a toucan. I don't know how the guide could see the bird in the trees, but they slowed the boat and tried to point it out to people. In the middle of the hand waving and exclamations of "over there" the bird took flight and we could all see its colorful snout as it flew in front of the boat. That was just flat out cool.
We finally arrived at Monkey Island which is basically just an island like any of the others that have tourist friendly monkeys. I know more than just the hotel we were at brings tour groups there. The captain and the guide commented that maybe the early-morning tours for the monkeys had fed them too much and they didn't want to come out. We circled the island and then again with the captain calling and calling but no monkeys were appearing. We circled one last time and then there they were, high up on the branches of the trees over the boats. They slowly worked their way down to the boat and then the captain cut up some more bananas and sprinkled them on the hood of the boat. The monkeys came right onto the boat to eat the bananas. There were probably about five different monkeys that got on the boat to collect their bananas. It was a really neat experience to be that close to the monkeys. After we were out of bananas we slowly pulled away from the island and began our way back to the hotel. My favorite part was flying back through the Panama Canal on the boat [video] with the wind in my hair, the sound of the waves on the water, the engine humming and passing by the large ships. I loved it.
We got back to the hotel and grabbed something to eat at the hotel bar. The bar has a wonderful balcony that looks over the hotel pool with the river and mountains beyond. I've said it a lot but I'll say it again: the scenery and the atmosphere of the place was wonderful. Since we rescheduled we didn't have as much time in between tours so after lunch it was time to head out on our last adventure of the trip, the aerial tram tour.
As I was looking at the photos of the aerial tram in the hotel I wasn't sure how well I was going to handle it. I am not a fan of heights. When we got to the tram location the tourists were broken up into groups and each assigned a tour guide. We were once again greeted by Arial who had been with us on the orchid tour and monkey island. Each group loaded the gondolas and rode up the mountain. We were the last group to board. I surprised myself by not being scared at all. It was very smooth, peaceful and quiet all the way up the mountain. Once we were at the top we walked a small path to the observation tower. The observation tower was quite a climb. It was a series of ramps so the incline wasn't bad but it was 10 levels of ramps and there were four ramps per level. We were going around and around and around and around. It started getting tedious and I know that my aunt suffered towards the end of it and my fear of heights really kicked in about halfway through. It got harder and harder for me to go up each level and my grip on the railing tightened with each quarter of a ramp, but boy was the view worth it once we reached the top.
We were above the treetops and could see the Chagres River, the hotel and its grounds, the Embera Village we visited the day before and a section of the Panama Canal complete with ships moving through. I was fascinated by a tree called the "suicide tree" that blooms only once in its lifetime and then dies. It was actually fun to be above the trees for once looking down on the suicide trees, the mimosas and the palms. Eventually we made our way down the observation tower back down the path for our ride down the mountain. The gondola ride back down was lovely and we even saw some iguanas sunning in a tree. I was sad to say goodbye to Arial. He was a great guide for us.
Then it was back to the hotel. I had time before dinner so I went swimming in the resort pool. That is something that I told myself I was going to do when I saw pictures of the hotel. I'm not great at relaxing and I was determined to do that since I love to swim. There were only a few others at the pool because the horde of sunbathers leave after the hottest part of the day. I had the pool mostly to myself and I loved it. After a while a few people came and then it started getting cloudy and thunder was rumbling in the distance. I still stayed a little after that. I love swimming and I knew it would be a long time before it was warm enough back in Texas to swim comfortably. Then it was time to shower, grab our last dinner and pack. We were leaving the next day for the city. At this point I can say I love, love, love being in the rain forest and I was sad to leave it.
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