the laanba blog

Mornings

My old routine:

Stumble out of bed somewhere between 5:20 and 5:50 a.m. depending on what time I have to be at work.  Go to the restroom, then settle down in the living room.  Flip the TV on, pull up the laptop and watch the news and click around the internet.  Yawn, stretch, blink, slowly wake up.  

Around 6:40 a.m. realize that I really should be thinking about getting ready (the exception is Wednesday when I have to leave by 6:45 a.m.).  At this point I either start getting ready or waste another 15 minutes watching TV and avoiding it.  The closer it gets to my departure time the more panicked I become (wash face, contacts in, makeup!).  Breakfast is rarely eaten and sometimes I run out of time to pack lunch.  The last step is getting dressed. (The cat!  Aarrrgghhh... food, water, litter box.. I'm late!!). Leave no later than  7:20 a.m.  

My new (well... one week anyway) routine:

Stumble out of bed somewhere between 5:20 and 5:50 depending on what time I have to be at work.  Go straight to the bathroom and stay there.  Start up Tech News Today on the iPad and slowly get ready (wash face, contacts in, makeup).  When I'm done in the bathroom  move the operation (including iPad) to the bedroom, make my bed, iron my clothes and get dressed.  Then move the operation to the kitchen where I feed the cat, make breakfast and pack lunch.  Sit at the computer for about 20 minutes before it is time to leave.

 

I never thought I would be able to change my morning routine.  I know it has been only a week, but I like my mornings so much better now.  The only thing I don't like is that I don't watch the news anymore.  I liked the morning newscast and it was about the only time in my day where I watched the news.  If I tighten up my schedule by about 10-15 minutes I think I can catch the last 30 minutes.

This change was brought about by the goal of taking more time to do my makeup and get dressed in the morning and by the goal of not randomly clicking around the computer so much.  My mornings have seemed so much calmer and less harried.  The one thing that I am having difficulty with is that my showers have now switched to evening.  I'm still trying to get used to that, but hopefully this is the start of a new, better for me routine. 

Things to Ponder

My downstairs neighbor has moved out (boo!) and I got a chance to peek in the apartment while the maintenance man was working on it.  Now I have something to ponder.  I can call the apartment office and be put on a list to get into that apartment next.  But should I?

The pros are that it is downstairs so I will escape the air conditioner sounds on my roof (#1 reason).  Also since it is downstairs it is going to be more energy efficient since there will be something on top of me.  Downstairs is of course just easier than upstairs although I don't feel like this one really gets to be a reason.  We are at the end of the complex with little foot traffic except to get to the parking.  It has hardwood floors.  It has lovely landscaping out in front and right now with the banana trees going it makes the whole window a beautiful green screen.  It makes the apartment feel like it is a cozy place tucked away in a garden.  Other than the apartments with patios which have very long waiting lists and are out of the equation, the unit is the one I would pick if I could have any unit in the complex.

Cons for leaving my current place.  I have beautiful light in the upstairs apartment.  It is very bright and airy all the time and I love that.  I would be able to open my blinds in the downstairs apartment much more often because of the shading the plants provide (that's a pro.... up here they stay tightly shut to keep the heat/cold out) but the strength of the light just won't be the same.  It will be a darker apartment behind the plants and carport.  No balcony or seating area on the bottom floor, not that I used the balcony much last year because of my neighbor who liked to leave his cigarette butts in a bowl outside.  New neighbor upstairs who also smokes thankfully has more consideration so I may actually get to use the balcony this fall.  The balcony is also nice for package deliveries because nobody can see anything on the stairs or balcony from the street.   I have a nice view of the sunrise and sunset here and off in the corner nobody really sees in to my space for long.  I may have problems getting reception for my TV antenna downstairs. Moving sucks.  It is expensive because even to move downstairs I need to hire movers and I need to pack everything.  I've done the "move to another unit in the apartment thing" and I learned my lesson.  It is way too hard to try to move everything yourself.  Movers are worth it, but they cost money.  Also let me repeat that moving and packing sucks.

So I don't know.  I have time to figure it out because the person below hasn't even moved in.  They could be on a six, twelve or even thirteen month lease so I have time to decide.  I'm going to call the apartment complex in a few months to ask some questions about how it would work.  I'm seriously leaning towards doing it because I love this apartment complex, and I could see myself living here for a long time, but even after a year I can't get used to the air conditioner sounds.  I have to sleep with ear plugs and I hate that.  Honestly things are really balanced on either side.  I have to ponder.

Where do I go from here?

I'm unsure of the path I want to take for the new year.  Normally I have my goals well laid out, at least in my head, and I know what I want.  Right now all I know is that I want 2011 to be special.  That I'm ready for life to go in a new direction.  I'm just not sure what direction and what steps I need to take to get there.  I feel a little lost.  I want to start on this new path on the 1st so I better figure it out quickly.

Care

I read the most amazing article that addresses what I have been whining about here for months.  The idea that I don't have enough time to do things thanks to a heavy work schedule and too many other distractions (cable, internet, etc.).  I am obviously not alone in this as I have seen several other comments and blog posts in this regard, but this post by Merlin Mann puts it in a whole new perspective for me.

Merlin's point is that to maintain focus on what you are trying to accomplish you have to first, above all other things, care.  Care that it gets done, care that it gets done right, care enough to make the time.  Just care.  This sounds obvious, but it is not and I have been thinking about it a lot the last few days.

For a while now I've been annoyed without how messy my car had become but I just never could seem to find the time to clean it out.  The next day after reading this article I cleaned my car.  Because if it was something I really wanted to do, something that I really cared about, then I would do it. This relates to so much going on with me.  I hate staying late at work, but I waste a lot of time when I go on conference.  If I really cared about leaving on time and being efficient I would focus and get to work.  My blog and photoblog has been neglected for quite a while, but I never seem to have the time.  Now I have to own up to the fact that I just  haven't really cared whether I posted or not.  That is going to change.

I'm not explaining it nearly as well as Merlin does so head over and read the article.  I will slowly be implementing "care" into my daily routine over the next few weeks.  I can already tell that it is going to help me finally make the changes I have been hoping for.

43 Folders: First, care

Soon: Happy (or at least content)

I've started this post three different times, but I keep erasing it because I'm not sure how to word this.  I've decided for the next couple of months (really into the spring) to try not to dwell on my love life, or lack of love life to be more accurate and focus on pulling myself into a happier place.  

Normally when I hear people say things along this line it is the statement that they have accepted and/or are content with being alone.  I find that to be one of the most depressing statements ever and I balk at the idea of ever accepting or being content with being alone.  I will never accept that.  This is different.   Right now I just need to take a few months to pull myself into a good routine, with good habits, that will make me feel better about myself.  I need to be in a happier place.  

The New Awesome

I got this card from the Heather Champ who created them as a thank you to people who donated to her half marathon run in October raising money for Leukemia.  This was a no brainer for me because a.) a good friend of mine is on his way to remission from a battle with leukemia and b.) Heather is an inspirational photographer.

But the card.  I need this card.  This is something that I need to tell myself on a daily basis because it is a message that I have problems believing. Most of the time it feels like awesome lives are things that happen to other people with their beautiful homes, their husbands or boyfriends that love them, their friends that surround them, their nice clothes and nice cars and their ability to take fabulous trips around the world. Things that don't happen to me.  

I have had a hard time this summer with the move to the new apartment (as readers here well know).  I told so many people before I moved that this was going to change my life and when things got bumpy I think part of me felt like it was a sign that the good things just can't come my way.  That I would be stuck in this lonely, sad place I have been in for so long no matter what my address. 

But I promise that I am trying, I really am, to think in a new way.  This card lives now on my refrigerator where I can see it every day.  It has even started invading my thinking when I've been in a bad place.  It has forced me to get up and get out and enjoy the new part of town I am living in.  It is something that I am going to tell myself everyday and maybe one day I won't just read it, but I'll believe it.

Change Sucks

So hello.  I am writing this from the Teahouse down the street because they have free wi-fi.  That's because I do NOT have internet yet.  U-Verse said they could service my apartment, but once they showed up they discovered that they really couldn't.  By the time I went crawling back to Comcast the only date they had available was for this Wednesday.  That will put me at 10 days of no internet.  10 days.  You know how I am about the internet right?  If I didn't have my phone I would have already gone insane.

After all the planning I did, and I did a lot, this was NOT a smooth move in so many ways.  I know that planning does not guarantee ease in something big like a move, but still.  I'd like to say that I have calmed down somewhat from my earlier hysterical state, but I'm not entirely sure.  I am having a very hard time adjusting to my new location.  I feel like I'm living in a strangers house or in a hotel room and that is not helping.  I am surprised that it is taking me so long to get used to a new place since I have the same bed and same sofa and same furniture.  It is amazing the difference that four walls can make.  

I am also having a very hard time with the air conditioner.  Where to start.  The vents are in two rooms, living and bedroom, and they are in the ceiling and blow straight down versus being in the wall and blowing out.  That may not seem like a big deal, but the first night I found myself lying in the stream of constantly blowing air and I could not sleep.  I had to rearrange all my bedroom furniture the second day and that was no easy task since I had spent most of the first day filling up the dresser.  

The air conditioner seems to run all the time even though I don't have it set low.  At all.  Like 78-80.  It isn't uncomfortable but it certainly isn't cold and I like it cold.  Guess I'll have to change that.  I am concerned about having to pay a huge bill so that is why I have it up.  I knew the bill would be higher because I was now living on the second floor with a wall full of windows, but it just seems to struggle to get to 78.  Of course I am going into the three hottest months in Houston so it will be a challenge.  I think things will be ok, but I won't know for sure until I get my first electricity bill and I'm scared it is going to be outrageous and I'm not going to be able to pay it.  Of course I won't know for a month so that is just a month for me to worry and fret.

But the biggest issue is the vibration and hum.  The air conditioner is on the roof and I am on the second floor so it is right above my bedroom.  It has a low vibration and hum that is very distracting to me.  I am sure other people wouldn't even notice it, but I do and it is stressing me out a great deal.  People have been telling me that I will get used to it after time, but in the meantime I have to wear earplugs to sleep, I'm not sleeping well and I hear it all the time.  I tense up when it kicks on because part of my brain is thinking again, you are on again and part of my brain is reacting to the hum.  I know, KNOW, that if I brought somebody in they wouldn't think it is that loud so I'm not exactly sure how to approach management.  I think there isn't a lot they will be able to do and that is depressing.  I pray I get used to it because right now I am already plotting about how to move next summer and that makes me so sad.  I waited 15 years for this move, just got here and I'm miserable.  I hear other neighbors air conditioners so again I think it is a me thing which makes it doubly frustrating.  If I could just block it out or not be such a wound up ball of nerves.  

I don't know what is going to happen.  In a month I could be perfectly happy.  I'm not sure how much of this is that I am not comfortable yet in the space, how much is the fact that I still don't have internet (EEEK!!!) and how much is the sound being too loud.  Only time will tell, but I hate waiting for time.  The older I get the less patience I have.  

Hopefully my next post will be happier.  Or at least from my own sofa.

Notes to my future self

Keywords: Packing, Moving

Start with 12 small, 20 medium and 3 large U-Haul boxes.

It is worth the extra time and expense to pack the weird shaped items in a box.  Or even hire someone to pack the odds and ends.  You do not want to spend days carrying stuff on your own (as I just have) that could have been packed in a box and moved by movers with just a little more effort on your part.

Do not wait until the last day to pack the bathroom or empty the refrigerator.  These jobs take longer than you think they do.

Do not get keys on a Friday and move on a Monday.  The wait is interminable.  Keys on a Monday move on a Wednesday or keys on Tuesday move on a Thursday.  

On the last day do not read websites about how to have an easy move or how to move without upsetting your cat because all the suggestions will be things that you should have done four weeks ago.

Do not pack away the allergy medicine that you were going to take that was going to help you sleep.

Do not pack away the laundry detergent because you are going to be extra sweaty and smelly the last few days and you are going to want to wash the few clothes you set aside.  You can buy a mini bottle of laundry detergent if you get desperate. 

If your grand plan is to watch a movie the last night you are at the house do not pack the DVD player. 

Lessons learned.  

A peaceful place

So it begins.  I got keys to the new place today.  I walked into a place that wasn't quite ready for me to see it.  I think there was a miscommunication with housekeeping.  And as I peeked into closets and opened cabinets I was distinctly ruffled.  How was I going to fit stuff into this place.  The hall closet was smaller than I remember and the bathroom closet had built in shelves which I don't remember either.  And the place was dirty and felt old. I was unsettled.  

I ran some errands and when I got back the apartment had been cleaned and it made a difference. I started laying down liner in the kitchen drawers and I started feeling more at home.  This reminds me of my cat. Anytime she goes somewhere new she is out of sorts for a while and wanders around and around the location.  That is exactly what I was doing.  Going from room to room wandering.  But after a few hours there I finally started to settle down and it started to feel comfortable.  

I have a feeling that I will have wild swings of emotions the next couple of days from elation, to frustration, to stress, to worry and back again.  I have been lucky so far in that it has been a relatively easy process getting ready for this move.  I've had spikes of stress or frustration but they were few.  Everyone talks about how stressful moving is and I'm thankful that it waited this long before it hit me, but I feel it now.  Movers come Monday.  I hope one week from now to be in a peaceful place both physically and mentally.

Keys

I get the keys to my new apartment tomorrow.  Time has been DRAGGING, a problem I have dealt with a lot this year, but we are finally on the cusp of this move.  I would really like to be 95% packed by tonight even though the movers aren't coming until Monday.  I would like this weekend to be spent moving the few things, that I don't trust the movers with, getting the apartment ready for the move and making sweeps of the old apartment and making sure everything is ready for Monday.  If I thought I had a problem with time dragging before I am sure that the next 24 hours are going to be miserable.  But I'm hoping that after that time will hit the fast forward button.