the laanba blog

Designs and Plans

I've done a design update on my photoblog and I'm quite happy with the results.  I haven't done a major design overhaul since I first started at Pixyblog in 2008.  It feels good to have a fresh look to my photos and I'm quite happy with the finished product.  Make sure to click around to see the appearing and disappearing photo information and take a peek at my new about page photo (well not new.. but new to the about page).

As for plans, hey guess what?  I'm going to Disney World!  And Harry Potter World!  And NASA World! Err... that last one may be known as Kennedy Space Center.  I booked my airplane ticket today to go see my cousin in Orlando during Spring Break.  It will be my first visit to Florida and my first time at a Disney property.  I'm not sure my inner child, who grew up on Disney, is going to be able to handle it.  Thirty-six days and counting!

7 years

I began photoblogging on September 19th, 2004 (eeek... I missed my anniversary!).  7 years ago.  That number is amazing to me.  The first event I went to specifically for the purpose of photographing something was the Ballunar Liftoff Festival and this is the first photo I ever posted to the photoblog.  I like to think I've gotten better since this shot.  

At that time I really didn't get out and do things in Houston because I am shy and kind of a loner. While the shy part and the alone part hasn't really changed, I'm happy to say that photography has changed my life for the better.  There are still a few events and situations where I feel uncomfortable going by myself, but for the most part I have seen so much, done so much and have met so many people thanks to photography.  

I also missed my 3 year anniversary on Pixyblog.  I have used lots of different content management systems over the years and have had lots of blog homes, but I have been the happiest at Pixyblog.  So here is to anniversaries and another 7 years and beyond.

Purpose

I had a specific reason for jumping into the world of online photography all those years ago.  I loved blogging and wanted to use my new digital camera so decided to start a photoblog. This purpose has suited me well over the years.  Many of my outings were specifically to "feed the blog." While I was doing this I found another purpose for my photography.  Life. It was getting me out of the house and letting me experience living in Houston.  I am shy and have found myself living the life of a loner.  If it was not for my photography I would still be sitting home alone watching life pass me by.  With my photography I got out, went to events, festivals, parties, and started photography groups to interact with other photographers.  Photography has had a huge impact on my life.

That was 7 years ago this September.  7 years is a long time and despite how much I hate the idea of change, things change.  People change and purposes change.  Now I am at a crossroads.  My original purpose for my photography does not motivate me anymore.  It doesn't get me to events or in front of my computer to edit.  It doesn't energize me.  I still love taking photos and have even begun to experiment with film.  I still want to document what I see and where I go.  I still need that "best friend" to go out with me.  But I need more than that.  I need a bigger purpose to my photos.

I've toyed with this idea off and on for a while.  I've thought about different projects I could do and different ways to present my work and have occasionally started new sites.  These detours into other areas were never very serious, but it has become clear to me in the last month or so that I really need a new direction. A specific goal, purpose or project.  It is time for me to get serious about why I take pictures and what I want to do with them.  

I've thought about lots of different things that interest me.  I love garden photography .  I think it could be interesting to focus on my analog film work.  I've thought about starting a Houston Cityscapes type of blog.  I've thought about turning Assignment Houston into a more personal Houston blog.  I've thought about lots of different things, but nothing grabs me and everything presents problems.  The film one is scary because I am so new at it and I'm not sure that I could bring anything particularly new or compelling with my film work.   I think most of my stuff would just be a rehash.  The Assignment Houston one is difficult because I feel like it is something that really belongs to the group even though I am the one that runs the group.  I feel like I can't take it over and turn it into my personal brand.  The cityscape Houston one is interesting, but then what happens to Photine?  I have a ton of Houston stuff on there.   Do I start new?  In the past I have tried different sites and I always ended up folding them back in because I don't like the split voice and having different projects all over the web. I've even toyed with abandoning photine altogether and reviving the name laanba which is completely unique to me, but the idea of abandoning 5 and 6 years of blogging and photoblogging history under the name photine scares me.  But then again what exactly does the name Photine mean to anyone anyway.

Basically I am lost at sea with no direction and no purpose.  My mind is a whirl. I just know that I want to do something.  Something new.  Something exciting.  Something to give me more of a specific voice.  Something with my photography. I've heard for years that the personal journal blog was over and that blogs must now target specific audiences.  I believe there will always be  a place for a personal journal/general blog and I will probably always have one but even I have to admit that I don't blog here nearly as much as I used to.   This blog is tied into the Photine photoblog and both of them are general purpose blogs.  I want to do something more specific.  I want something that isn't just a name, but has a specific purpose.  But change is scary.  I can't even begin to face change until I know what I am changing.  I need a purpose.

UPDATE: I always know that blogging helps me work things out.  I know that I want to do something specifically with my Houston photography.  Now to just figure out what.  And to figure out what that will leave for Photine.

Photography 2011

I have been focusing so much on my personal resolutions for 2011 that I didn't really have much brain power left to sort out my photography goals.  I had vague ideas in my mind about what I wanted to do and I made sure to clear all of my photo backlog (except one roll of film) so that I would have to shoot fresh, a lesson learned from this past year.  

I crashed on the sofa today for a couple of hours (I don't know why because I got a decent nights sleep....) and when I woke up my photography goals had solidified in my head.  Maybe my brain just needed to clear the personal stuff out of the way so it could work on the photography stuff.  I have a LOT on deck for 2011.  Last year was just not good.  I'm not sure if it was only because of the backlog or if I had lost some of my photo mojo since I've been doing this a while.  Regardless I didn't go out and seek new photos and new opportunities.  I went through the same events, taking the same pictures.  Going through the motions on comfortable territory.  2011 is going to be about seeking out new photos.

I'm a little afraid I have piled up too many things, but I have them prioritized in my head.  There are two main projects and a couple of side projects.

Main Projects

1.)  Mirror Project

I still can't believe this, but I only took eight mirror project photos in 2010.  Five on Flickr and three on the blog.  That is shocking considering how much it used to be a part of my routine every time I was out with a camera.  I remember when I used to be known for taking mirror shots.  People would know what I was doing if I wandered off the path to a shiny surface.  I was always seeking out new photographs.  This year I'm going to do a 52 weeks in mirror project shots.  One new photo each week.   A lot will probably be taken with the iPhone but that is fine.  I need to get back into the groove of one of my very favorite projects.

2.) The Color Wheel

I recently updated my Moo cards and while I was going through my photographs I noticed that I was drawn to photos from a couple of years ago that had bold colors.  These photos always end up on my cards because I think they represent the best of my work, but I haven't had anything that felt that good in a couple of years.  Color always makes me happy so I am going to focus on color this year.  

I'm assigning myself one color each month and am going to go and photograph it.  I am doing the primary and secondary colors and will go through the cycle twice in one year.  I'm hoping to get enough photos to make at least two blog posts focusing on that color (at least three photos per post so six photos).  This makes me a little nervous because in the past I have had a tendency to blow off projects and then run around at the last minute and take photos just to say that I did it.  This needs to be different.  Not just because that is a crappy way to take photos because it is going to break me out of my rut.  I need to explore new places as well as visit my familiar places with a new eye.

Side Projects

3.) One on One Photowalks

I wrote this on my birthday checklist two years ago but never followed through.  I am not comfortable in large group settings, but I find myself in them a lot because of Assignment:  Houston. I much prefer small group outings and going on one on one photowalks with people.  Most of my photowalk friends have dropped out of my friendship circle, moved away or have just gotten busy.  I hope in the coming year to push myself to set some walking dates with people to get out, talk and shoot.  

4.) 11

11 is my favorite number so if there is any year where I'm going to have a project focused around 11 this is it.  Photograph the number 11 when I see it.  I am hoping this will also pull me off the comfortable path and cause me to wander to places I haven't gone in the past or to see old places with a new eye.  This will be ongoing throughout the year and since it is a side project there is no pressure to get a set amount of photos.

5.) Bicycles

This is also a side project but it will be a little more difficult than 11.  I love photographs of bicycles but I hesitate to take them when I am out and about because I am self conscious.  I know that I will stick out of I'm suddenly crouching down around some strangers bike.  I have gotten worlds better about this particular aspect of my shyness but it is still there and still a struggle.  I want to get some bicycle photos in my portfolio this year.  Again since it is a side project there is not pressure for set numbers.

So that's it.  Whew, that is a lot!  The two main projects alone are going to keep me busy.  The side ones are just that.  Side things that I can do if I come across them.  With the clearing of the backlog and the change in my photoblog posting routine 2011 is going to be about fresh and new photos.  I'm excited for the first time in a long time.

Happy 4th

Memorial Day
Originally uploaded by photine.

This was actually taken on Memorial Day, but it is the best flag photo I got. Happy 4th of July!

I also used it over at the photoblog to announce some upcoming changes. I have no idea what the future will hold, if the changes will work, if I will like them or hate them, but I'm excited to take the photoblog in a new direction. I really think this is going to kick my photography up a level once I clear out the old sets. Time will tell, but a new adventure awaits. You can read all about it here:

http://www.photine.net/entry/stars-and-stripes

Film Fight

This afternoon I had a knock down, drag out, fight with my film scanner.  Four hours later I declare it a draw.  

I tried to scan my roll of film from the Diana, which is square 120 format film, last week without much success. It was late at night when I started so after about 20 minutes of trying I gave up.  I decided this afternoon to really give it a go.  It wasn't pretty.  I couldn't get the Canon software which came with the scanner to see the square size.  It kept previewing things with a crop.  And there wasn't much documentation or help in the program or online.

I also tried the recommended VueScan software which I had purchased months ago.  This software has a steep learning curve and it was also not cooperating.  The colors kept coming out blue.  After yelling at the machine, yelling at Twitter and sending a whiny Flickrmail to a friend I finally got it semi-working.  I scanned in the Diana and decided since I was on a semi-roll to scan in the first roll from the Pentax MX.

This was a telling moment.  I purchased this camera with the thought that it will be my main film camera. I am glad to say that I am happy with the results.  I still struggled with the scanning, especially getting the colors right.  It seems every photo I worked on came out a different color.  I can correct some of it in Lightroom, but not everything.  I know that I shouldn't expect things to be perfect the first time around, but what can I say, I'm a perfectionist.  I am going to have to remember that it will probably take me several rolls of film and several fights with VueScan, Arcsoft and the scanner to get things right. I've realized that as I'm getting older I am getting less patient so this will probably be a good thing for me.  I'll have to keep telling myself that when I lose my patience.

In semi-related news one of the podcasts I listen to asked for film questions for an upcoming episode and I asked them about scanning.  Apparently that question was answered on the show.  I hope my question didn't sound stupid. I guess we'll know when the episode comes out.

UPDATE:  Ack!  What's that line across the bottom of the photo?  *banging head on scanner*

Small Steps

Remember my photo mojo problem?  As I was explaining to a friend I feel like I'm taking the same photos over and over again. Part of it is the type of photography that I do.  I don't do studio work, macro work or portraiture.  I'm not interested in those areas. I like being out and about in the city with my camera.  Yet after the second, third, fourth time I'm at the same event or location I feel like I'm just taking variations of the same picture.  I don't feel like I have a fresh perspective on things.  But I like going to these events and I like taking my camera so something else has to change.

I have been considering taking my toy cameras (Holga, Diana, Vivitar Ultra Wide & Slim) as my primary camera to events.  Using film will force me to slow down and think about the photos before I take them.  There is, at least in my mind, a certain type of subject and point of view that seems to fit film cameras that is different than the digital.  I would need to learn to see in a different way and that is the challenge.  I could go to my old events and locations with new eyes.  I even bought a new film scanner so I don't have to get prints made of everything.  So everything's in place right?

The theory is sound, but the idea of not having my digital makes me uncomfortable.  I'm afraid of missing out on something.  I know part of that is just my resistance to change, but I must say it is a pretty strong compulsion.  I like to imagine myself a year from now being like those amazing film photographers I admire, the ones whose blogs and Flickr streams are works of art. But the idea of being someone else, of leaving my comfort zone, of not knowing what the future is going to be like scares me.  Not to mention how little I really know about film or actual camera techniques for that matter.  I would have to start learning about some of this stuff and that has always been a mental road block in the past.  I just want to go out and take pictures and not have to think about the technical side.  That's one reason I was attracted to the Holga in the first place.

So I'm going to try doing small steps, something that I'm terrible at.  Terrible.  I'm the kind of person that sees all the future paths from a single action.  Or at least the kind of person that thinks she does.  This is definitely one of the reasons I'm still single.  I'm not good at just letting things happen naturally. I over analyze everything into future paralysis.  But I'm really going to try, I really am.  I made a compromise for the airshow.  I took my Vivitar one day and Diana the next and used those to take photos around the static displays.  I also took my digital and used that for photos of the performances.  I think it was a good start.  

Go with the flow.  Don't look too far down the road.  Small steps.

Chicago Done

Almost exactly three months later I am finally finished editing my Chicago photos. Wow, was that a lot more of a chore than I thought it would be.  I have a feeling I won't be taking as many pictures in Panama at least in terms of photos per day.  The architecture and my love of big cities just made my camera go snap happy.  Everywhere I looked I saw something I wanted to document.  

The largest chunk of photos was what I waited last to work on and that was Millennium Park and Cloudgate.  Oh how I love Cloudgate.  If I lived there I would be at that park all the time and photographing that sculpture in all kinds of light and weather.  

It will still take a few months for everyone to see all my Chicago stuff because I will be alternating Chicago posts with other stuff that is going on.  And I guess if I was honest with myself I have a few more photos on my iPhone that I need to edit, but that won't take long.  

The final tally was 1331 photos taken and 446 made the final cut.  Whew!

Photo Mojo

Posted this on Flickr, but wanted it here to for my records.

This is all I got that was worth anything at the Strange Fruit performance at Discovery Green.  I just wasn't feeling it that night.

Unfortunately that wasn't an isolated incident.  I don't know where my photography mojo has gone.  My first reaction is to blame the killer school year which has sucked the life out of me this year, but it isn't just that.  For a while I have felt like I'm going through the motions.  I don't feel like my photography is particularly inspiring and I'm not particularly inspired to go out and shoot.  

Sometimes I wonder if I should take a break, but that would drive my compulsive side crazy with the need to keep my photoblog running.  I'm proud of my photoblog and I don't want to take a break from it. Sometimes I think I need to focus on my film cameras to try to get some of my joy of photography back and do something completely different.  Sometimes I think I just need to get out there in the cool air (I said cool air!  Where are you cool air!) and wander around and rediscover my love of exploring Houston.  I know I used to have it.  I just don't know where it went.

I have read a lot recently about people going through this and I have even found myself telling other people that they aren't alone.  Everyone goes through it.  It will come back.  But it is still a hard thing to go through personally.  Yet I can't imagine living my life without camera in hand.

I'm on TV!

Well one of my photos anyway.  The Houston It's Worth It guys are making the rounds to promote the new book HIWI: Ike.  I'm lucky enough to have three photographs published in this book.  You can watch them talk about the book in this video and hey, one of my photographs is shown!  It's the last one of the light trucks.  Tonight is the book release party.  You know I don't handle parties or social situations like this very well.  I am always at these things by myself and I'm not good at the chit chat and small talk.  In fact recently I've realized I don't like small talk. But I'm going because it's important.  At least that's what I keep telling myself as it creeps closer.